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Five Steps to Living More Authentically

Practical steps to help you be yourself

Introduction

Feeling stuck, unfulfilled, or disconnected from your true self? In a world dominated by societal expectations, authentic living often takes a back seat. Authenticity involves peeling away layers of conditioning to reveal your true essence.

The real you is buried; it's waiting to be embraced fully. Shed labels and limitations you've imposed on yourself. Reject the idea of a one-size-fits-all life. What matters is the path that feels right to you.

As you shed inauthentic layers, you make room for your genuine self to emerge. This transformation enables you to navigate the world confidently, expressing your true self and forming authentic connections. You'll act from genuine desire, not societal pressure. It's time to come alive.

In this article, we'll explore five concrete steps that transcend the vague advice of "be who you are." These steps delve into the inner workings of your mind, guiding you on a fulfilling journey towards authentic living.

 

Step One: Embrace Authentic Living by Overcoming Others' Opinions

The initial stride towards authentic living involves liberating yourself from the worry of others' perceptions. Fearing judgment or craving external approval can lead to stifling your true self to meet societal expectations.

Have you ever laughed at jokes that didn't amuse you or engaged in disinteresting conversations to gain acceptance? Perhaps you settled for a job or relationship that didn't align with your true desires, merely to conform to societal norms. Maybe you attended social gatherings you had no interest in or engaged in behaviors contrary to your preferences.

The fear of appearing foolish or different often results in self-censorship, causing you to suppress your thoughts, dreams, and opinions. You may adhere to daily routines not out of choice, but due to societal pressures. This fear can deter you from exploring new hobbies for fear of not excelling immediately, or from asserting your true desires, leading to situations where you say "yes" when you should say "no."

Actions driven by the desire for external validation divert you from your true self, pushing you further away from your genuine desires. Living this way means living for others' approval, not for yourself.

Imagine a life where societal expectations don't dictate your behavior. Picture freely choosing how you dress, speak, and act without worrying about societal norms. Envision a life where you courageously pursue your dreams, express your authentic self, and fully embrace who you are.

Freeing yourself from the shackles of others' opinions grants you the freedom to be your true self, a vital step towards living authentically.

 

Step Two: Cultivate Self-Love for an Authentic Life

In the pursuit of authentic living, nurturing self-love stands as a pivotal step. Why? Because genuine self-love liberates you from the need for external validation as a measure of your self-worth. This newfound self-love empowers you to wholeheartedly embrace your authentic self.

As mentioned earlier, the desire for approval from others is a primary reason people often forsake their true selves. Many construct personas conforming to societal or peer expectations, all in the hope of being liked and accepted. When external approval is granted, it can lead to the mistaken belief that one is valuable and worthy.

However, this path leads away from your authentic self. Instead of being true to yourself, you shape yourself to meet others' expectations, perpetually seeking validation from external sources.

Now, envision this: when you cultivate self-love, you provide yourself the very validation you once sought from others. This act of self-love severs the chains tying you to external expectations. It empowers you to align with your inner voice, to be your genuine self, and to pursue your desires without the constant concern for others' opinions.

Self-love becomes the key to liberating yourself from the grip of external validation. To discover techniques that can support your journey in cultivating self-love, read my next article "Self Love: Practical Tips to Loving Yourself More."

 

Step Three: Unearth Beliefs Misaligned With Your Authentic Self

Your beliefs wield immense power; they shape your decisions and actions. To truly embrace authentic living, it's essential to examine your current beliefs and assess whether they genuinely support your authentic journey.

Beliefs essentially amount to repeated thoughts, often rooted in external influences and life experiences. However, they are not set in stone, nor are they necessarily grounded in absolute truth. Many individuals never pause to scrutinize their beliefs; they unwittingly adopt and perpetuate them, inadvertently steering behaviors that may not align with their authentic selves.

Understanding the impact of beliefs might be challenging for those new to this concept. To illustrate, consider these examples of unconscious beliefs that many people harbor, not because they genuinely endorse them, but because societal expectations or personal experiences have instilled these notions:

Unconscious beliefs molded by societal expectations:

  • An unmarried or childless person is inadequate.
  • Being outspoken is undesirable; it's best to remain quiet and avoid stirring trouble.
  • Balancing motherhood with personal passions or career pursuits is impossible.
  • Don't express dissatisfaction; be agreeable and "nice."
  • Your worth is measured by your physical appearance.
  • Don't ask for too much; be content with what you have.
  • Conformity is preferable to standing out.

Unconscious beliefs stemming from personal experiences:

  • I am worthless.
  • I am unlovable.
  • I am not intelligent or capable.
  • People are inherently selfish and untrustworthy.
  • The world is a harsh and unforgiving place.

If any of these beliefs, or similar ones, reside in your subconscious, they likely influence your choices and actions, potentially hindering you from realizing your full potential and embracing your true self.

Beliefs that deter you from pursuing your dreams or expressing your authentic self do not genuinely reflect your core identity. Identifying these beliefs may require time, as they have operated on autopilot for a while. Nevertheless, every step toward awareness represents a significant stride toward living more authentically.

 

Step Four: Foster an Authentic Belief System

Now that you've pinpointed beliefs incongruent with your true self, it's time to shed those limiting convictions and nurture a belief system that fuels and sustains your authentic journey.Instead of letting unconscious beliefs steer your actions, you will actively select your thoughts, ushering in a more awakened and purposeful existence. This transformation entails living a life that you intentionally choose, rather than one directed by automatic responses.But how do you discern which thoughts and beliefs to adopt? In Step Three, you began visualizing the life you desire and identifying beliefs hindering your progress. In this step, contemplate the beliefs that would genuinely fortify your pursuit of desires, self-expression, and empowerment.You possess the authority to define what genuinely holds meaning and significance for you. Fashion beliefs that harmonize with a life rich in those values. Cultivate fresh, affirming thoughts that harmonize with your aspirations, and reinforce them through consistent repetition. Over time, these thoughts will lay the groundwork for your novel belief system, steering your actions toward authenticity.Here are examples of beliefs that nurture and elevate you:

  • I am resilient, intelligent, and wholly capable.
  • My unique contributions enrich the world.
  • I possess the qualities necessary to pursue and accomplish my dreams, particularly those related to _____.
  • I am deserving of expressing my desires and receiving them.
  • Remaining true to my authentic self holds more significance than seeking external approval.

This step revolves around adopting beliefs that unshackle you from the limitations imposed by external influences, granting you the freedom to unleash your full potential and metamorphose into the person you aspire to be.

 

Step Five: Relish the Journey, Not Solely the Destination

Living authentically shifts your focus from the end result to the very process itself. Rather than fixating on outcomes, appearances, or reaching some distant finish line, you discover contentment in merely being yourself. Each time you stand unwavering in your authenticity, whether by aligning with your true self or abstaining from actions that ring untrue, you attain a personal triumph.

By centering your attention on the process of self-expression, you'll gradually witness your life flourishing. But why does this transformation transpire?

When you cease betraying your genuine self, you become whole once more. You cast aside the masks, permitting authentic connections with yourself, others, and the world to blossom. Engaging in actions that authentically resonate with your core desires, as opposed to conforming to societal expectations, infuses life with beauty, excitement, and profound significance.

As you shed the constraints imposed by society and past experiences, you come to realize your limitless potential. The reward is not confined solely to the final outcomes; it's interwoven into the very fabric of your daily practice. Each instance where you prioritize authenticity over external validation stands as a personal victory, infusing vitality and genuineness into your life.

 

 

 

Closing Thoughts: Avoid Regret and Embrace Authenticity

Recall this profound truth: the most common regret among those nearing life's end is, "I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself instead of the life others expected of me."

In my role as an authenticity coach, I am steadfast in ensuring you don't carry this weight of regret. My specialization lies in empowering women who find themselves in a state of inertia, ennui, and disconnection to rediscover their genuine selves and rekindle their passions.

If you stand prepared to embark on a journey toward a more joyful, more connected, and more vibrant life, I invite you to consider joining me for coaching. Take the first step by clicking here to visit my website.

I eagerly anticipate the opportunity to connect with you soon!

Additionally, if you've found this article valuable, I would appreciate you to share my blog with others. Together, let us propagate the message of living authentically so that everyone can proudly accept themselves, love themselves, and be themselves!

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Meet The Author

Meet Carol,Ā a Triple-Certified Self Love and Authenticity Coach on a mission to help you uncover your true self and live life to the fullest.

In her mid-twenties, she found herself feeling lost, unable to answer the question, "Who am I?" That question set her on a transformative journey of self-discovery, where she discovered authenticity and self love as the keys to fulfillment, peace, and happiness.

Beyond coaching, she enjoys yoga, coffee, long walks, reading, and beach destinations.

Find her on instagram @carolbrahacoaching or learn more about her at her website carolbraha.com.

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