Stop Relying on Willpower—Use Wantpower Instead

Introduction: Willpower or Wantpower?

Everybody tells you that you need more willpower to reach your goals. I’m here to tell you that everybody is wrong. Willpower is not what you need. What you need is Wantpower.

Stay with me here—I’ll explain why willpower is an exhausting, unreliable strategy and how Wantpower, a concept that is likely new to you, makes success feel natural, not forced. By the end, you’ll have an easier, more effective way to reach your goals—without relying on sheer force or self-control.

The Myth of Willpower

Does willpower fail you often? That’s not because you’re weak—it’s because you’re human.

Willpower is often compared to a muscle. It can be used to resist temptation or force yourself into action, but just like a muscle, it gets fatigued. And when it does, you give in—not because you lack discipline, but because willpower is not a sustainable strategy.

Here’s why willpower is the worst thing to rely on:

❌ It gets depleted. The more decisions you make, the weaker your willpower becomes.

❌ It requires a perfect mindset. You need to be in an ideal mental and emotional state to sustain willpower—but let’s be real, most of us are sleep-deprived, over-caffeinated, and stressed.

❌ It focuses on restriction. Willpower is about resisting something you actually want, which makes that thing even more tempting.

The truth? Lack of willpower isn’t a character flaw—it’s simply not a reliable tool. You are using an inefficient tool, and that's why you can't get what you want. So, what should you use instead of willpower?

The Solution to Lack of Willpower: Wantpower

Enter Wantpower—the mindset shift that makes discipline effortless.

Unlike willpower, which is about pushing yourself, Wantpower is about pulling yourself toward what you truly desire. Instead of forcing yourself to resist temptations or complete tasks, you shift your focus to why you want to do them in the first place. When you tune into what you want, not what you're avoiding or forcing, you associate the activity or task with something positive, making it a desire, not a burden.

Wantpower isn’t about restriction—it’s about connection. When you align your goals with what excites you, it’s no longer about fighting against yourself. It’s about feeling inspired and pulled forward by your desires.

How Wantpower Works

✔ Instead of focusing on what you can’t have, focus on what you want to gain.
✔ Instead of forcing action, create desire.
✔ Instead of resisting, reframe the goal as something that excites and pulls you forward.

💡 Example:
➡ Willpower mindset: “Don’t eat cake. Don’t eat cake. Don’t eat cake.” (Sounds miserable, right? You’ll eventually cave.)
➡ Wantpower mindset: “I want to feel healthy. I want energy. I want to nourish my body. I love how I feel when I eat foods that nourish me.” (Now, choosing a healthier option feels natural.)

Wantpower shifts the narrative from punishment to empowerment and enjoyment. And the best part? When you focus on what excites and fulfills you, you no longer need willpower at all.

Willpower vs. Wantpower in Action

See the difference? Instead of focusing on restriction, you’re focusing on what excites you (aka what you want).

The Psychology Behind Wantpower: Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

Wantpower isn’t just a fun idea—it’s rooted in psychology.

Willpower relies on extrinsic motivation—forcing yourself to do something because you "should" or to avoid guilt.

Wantpower, on the other hand, taps into intrinsic motivation—doing something because it aligns with what truly matters to you.

💡 Science backs this up: Studies show that people who rely on intrinsic motivation are more consistent, less stressed, and more successful than those who rely solely on self-control.

When you connect your goals to something meaningful, discipline stops feeling like a struggle. It becomes an exciting journey rather than a battle of wills.

The Pain-Pleasure Principle and How It Ties Into Wantpower

Tony Robbins teaches us that human behavior is largely driven by the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. This principle helps explain why we often procrastinate on things we "should" do and why some actions seem more appealing than others.

But here’s the twist: If you can shift the way you perceive something, you can rewire your brain to want to do it instead of forcing yourself to do it. You see, if you associate something with pleasure, your brain will naturally be drawn to it. On the other hand, if you link something to pain, your brain will avoid it at all costs.

Applying the Pain-Pleasure Principle to Wantpower

Let’s take exercise as an example. Most people associate working out with pain—either physical discomfort, time spent away from other activities, or feelings of effort. But what if, instead of focusing on the pain (the sweat, the sore muscles, the time commitment), you started focusing on the pleasure? Think about the endorphins, the boost in energy, the prideof keeping your body healthy.

By shifting the focus from the "pain" of the activity to the "pleasure" of the outcome, you’re more likely to find yourself enjoying the activity. This turns your motivation from willpower into Wantpower—and your journey becomes fueled by desire, not by sheer force.

This same principle can be applied to anything in your life. Instead of forcing yourself to do something because you "should" or "must," link it to a pleasurable outcome that you want. What will you gain by doing it? How will you feel once it's done? How will it help you create a better version of yourself?

How to Cultivate Wantpower

Now that you know the power of Wantpower, I’m sure you’d much prefer the ease of Wantpower—unlimited and always available—compared to the strained effort of willpower, which feels like a constant battle.

If you’re ready to stop relying on willpower, try these steps to unlock Wantpower:

1️⃣ Ask yourself: Why do I want this?

If you’re struggling to take action, dig into your real motivation. Understand the why behind your actions.

Example: “I should exercise” → “I want to feel strong, energized, and confident.”

2️⃣ Pay attention to how good it feels.

When you take action, notice the rewards. The key here is not just doing the task, but recognizing the positive outcomes afterward.

Example: After a workout, focus on the energy boost and sense of accomplishment. The more you notice the rewards, the more you’ll crave the habit. This makes the action something you want to do, not something you force yourself to do.

3️⃣ Reframe your mindset.

Instead of saying “I have to,” switch to “I want to.” If you can’t genuinely say “I want to,” then maybe that goal isn’t truly aligned with you—and that’s perfectly okay.

4️⃣ Make your goals exciting.

If something feels like a chore, find ways to make it enjoyable, so you naturally want to engage in them.

With time, Wantpower will become your natural driver. Focus on why you want to do what you’re doing and how fulfilling it will be once you’ve accomplished it. You’ll soon find yourself moving toward your goals with ease, feeling energized and excited about your life.

Personal Note on Wantpower

I do yoga and go for a walk almost every day. I eat pretty healthy majority of the time. I do good work in my business. And here’s the key: I never, ever use willpower.

By tapping into the power of my wants and focusing on how I feel afterward, I’ve stayed consistent with my healthy habits and business goals. It’s not about forcing myself to do things; it’s about linking them to the positive outcomes I desire.

I do everything because I want to do it. It’s easy to maintain these “healthy” habits because I love how they make me feel and how they bring me closer to the life I envision. I started tapping into Wantpower over ten years ago, and now I live with much more ease—and a much more pleasant internal dialogue (no more war with myself over willpower!).

As a self-love and authenticity coach, I firmly believe that Wantpower is a much more loving and authentic way to reach your goals. It’s loving because you’re working with yourself (instead of against yourself) to get everything you want, and it’s authentic because it’s based on intrinsic motivation, not external pressure. This shift from willpower to Wantpower is not only better for your happiness—it’s better for your mental health.

Please, give it a try!

Final Thoughts: Ditch Willpower for Good

Willpower isn’t the key to success. It’s unreliable and doesn’t build a loving relationship with yourself. Instead of supporting you, it creates a dynamic of force and overcoming. Wantpower, however, helps you reach your goals with ease and consistency—without all the guilt and exhaustion.

So the next time you catch yourself relying on sheer force, stop and ask yourself:

👉 Why do I want this?
👉 How will I feel once I’ve done it?

Reframe it as Wantpower.

When you shift from forcing yourself to wanting it, everything changes. No more exhaustion. No more guilt. Just effortless motivation.

If you’d like more support stepping into Wantpower and creating a life you love while feeling great, click here to explore my 1:1 coaching options. I’ll help you unlock motivation that feels natural, not forced.

Wishing you all the best on your journey—today and every day!